Don't have an account? Quotations, Outline and Tips Created:
It might seem easy to pull off since, after all, graduation is one big party celebration.
However, when you tally them, in the past ten years, there's really only a few funny graduation speeeches. Here below is the list of some of the funniest commencement addresses I know of.
Sit back, relax, and enjoy! Actress Tulane University, Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someonelse's path unless you're in the woods and you're lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that.
Actor Merrimack College, Now, I know that having a honorary doctorate degree will do nothing for me, but I'm here to tell you today that your degrees, the ones you toiled to get, the ones you actually took classes to earn, those degrees, will also basically do nothing.
You can't exchange your degree for cash. You can't have a degree audition or interview for you.
You can not eat it. Please don't make love to it.
You can maybe smoke it but I wouldn't advise it. Who knew the room would go round and round and round? They don't say that on the bottle, do they? The room will go round and round and round. When the room is spinning, you've pretty much had enough.
It's the same with marriage. If you made plans to meet someone in a snow storm, and they didn't show up, you just had to assume they were devoured by wolves and go on with your life. Musician and Comedian University of Western Australia, I never really had one of these big dreams. And so I advocate passionate dedication to the pursuit of short-term goals.
Put your head down and work with pride on whatever is in front of you… you never know where you might end up. Just be aware that the next worthy pursuit will probably appear in your periphery.
Which is why you should be careful of long-term dreams. In our benign self-absorption, I believe we have given you a gift; a particular form of independence, for you do not owe the previous generation anything.
Thanks to us, you owe it to the Chinese.
You know how when you unscrew something it's 'righty tighty, lefty loosey'? If you just get a hammer and hit it really hard, whatever it is, I guarantee you it'll open.
Let me get back to you. I had been up all night so I was drifting in and out of consciousness [looks around the crowd] — like that guy. We had been discussing it earlier, and I…I wanted to bring this up to you earlier about the real world, and this is I guess as good a time as any.
I remember squinting a lot and a vague sense that I would never again be around so many attractive, available young people in my life. It is my solemn duty to inform you that that fear is entirely well founded.
This is coming from a guy who works in Hollywood, by the way. You are the nerds who are going to make some serious bank, which is why I am here today … to marry the best-looking amongst you.Chances are you’ll cry on graduation day, but we’re here to stop the tears.
Commencement is a time to reflect on old memories and prepare to make new ones, and there are dozens of funny. This sample high school graduation speech was sent in by Sami from the United States, a student who graduated in and submitted her speech in order to inspire and help others..
Being invited to make a speech when graduating from high school is an honor and Sami's speech, in turn, honors all those who helped her throughout her high school journey. Our graduation speech examples are a clear indication that we have words for every occasion. Of course these are only individual samples of what you might say whereas when you order from us your will receive at least .
Here are a few graduation speech examples to help you get started on your speech preparations for this year! The After Dinner Speech. After the meal at the graduation party or the prom, someone usually rises amidst the graduation party decorations on behalf of the graduating class to make a speech!
The purpose of this speech is to . Nov 06, · Captivate your audience with the informative tips provided by an accomplished writer in this free video on how to write a funny speech. Funniest Graduation Speech of A Funny Speech Without.
Your speech will seem disjointed and awkward if you try to be both funny and serious. To create continuity in your humorous speech, you must keep the whole address relatively informal. Use simple, everyday language, and speak in a conversational tone.